


Pain Relief

by Chaotic_phan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, a lot of fluff, au where Dan and Phil have magical powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:42:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21940633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaotic_phan/pseuds/Chaotic_phan
Summary: Dan's life was filled with pain. He felt broken. Until a stranger with healing powers came along.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 21
Kudos: 26
Collections: Phandom Fic Fests Holiday Exchange 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [philsbigduck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/philsbigduck/gifts).



> Thank you so much to my amazing beta @obsessivelymoody for helping me with this fic. 
> 
> It's my first time writing a fic, hopefully it's good.

Dan was surrounded by people but he felt lonely.

Parties were never his thing. He hated them, and to be honest, who didn’t? So, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to be dragged along to a 3rd year uni students party. Although, he didn’t really have a choice; his girlfriend was clearly tired of him being locked up in his room. Emily, who was doing her last year of university, was his girlfriend of almost a year. After all the months together, he was used to going around with her. In the end, he always hid in her shadow.

That’s how he ended up standing disoriented in the middle of the chaotic crowd. At first, he had trailed along with his girlfriend feeling out of place. However, he soon got bored listening to everyone. Once Dan drifted away from his girlfriend's friends, he headed towards the place where food and drinks were supplied. 

Late into the night, everyone was intoxicated and everything appeared blurry. His girlfriend had also disappeared. The room was filled with hammered students who stumbled into him. People were making out in every corner of the room. There were unrecognisable faces everywhere. He hated it. The uncomfortable atmosphere caused his vulnerabilities to surface. Pushing through the crowd, he tried to make his way outside. He needed some space to breathe. Unfortunately, his rising levels of discomfort were worsened by the sight in front of him.

He stood there motionless, just staring. He should have been expecting this. 

Had he really thought his girlfriend liked him? Why would someone like an awkward, broken, clingy guy? She leaned away from the stranger she was kissing and noticed Dan. 

They stood just staring at each other. He tried to find answers in her gaze but he already knew the answer: he didn’t deserve her. Emily grabbed onto his arm with hopes of explaining. He expected it to be nothing but excuses. When she touched his arm, he experienced the pain she had felt for the past few weeks. 

Then, he understood her reason for hurting him: he was hurting her. He realised that she hadn’t been happy with him. That was his fault. Emily was nice. She tried to help him but he kept pushing her away because he was afraid of feeling more pain. Here he was being swallowed by self hatred because he made her unhappy. He deserved to feel the pain.

He pushed past her, trying to escape. Turning back he saw the pitiful look on her face, that only made him run away more. She knew about his power. That meant she probably knew what he had seen. He forced himself to look away from the sympathetic stare. 

Throughout his life he was forced to feel pain. Pain came by getting close to people. Pain came by keeping his distance as well. 

Everyone had their own powers. Some powers were harmless such as creating flowers. Some powers were dangerous such as mind manipulation but very few people had these powers. 

Dan’s powers were helpful to others but they hurt him in return. He had empathetic perception. This allowed him to share people’s pain and happiness by touching them but all his life he had never shared someone’s happiness. He had taken away some of the pain from other people’s lives. Pain had clung to him throughout his life. Childhood had been distressing as he was surrounded by pain. He always tried to understand someone’s struggles but they didn’t want him to. He tried to show empathy, instead he experienced pain. Pain wasn’t only emotional, it was also physical. There had been days he had come back beaten and broken because he tried to understand people. No one tried to understand him. 

The inevitable breakdown arrived, crushing his spirit. A wave of sadness submerged him. His mind was spiraling with negative thoughts. He wanted to give up. He gave up trying to get back to his room. The dark corner in the room was inviting. With tears streaming down his face, he trudged to the corner. Falling onto the floor like falling into a pit of sadness. 

Was he really that drunk? His mind was screaming that he deserved this. His whole life he had repressed his emotions and pain. Uni was a chance for him to change. Going to university far away from home had allowed him to distance himself from the pain. He wanted to leave behind the torment he had felt during his childhood. Being with his girlfriend was distracting him from the pain but it never left. It didn't get any better either. 

Nobody noticed the lonely boy sitting in the corner. He didn’t know how much time had passed as he just sat there with no desire to move. Emily hadn’t tried to find him, but he was grateful for that. He didn’t feel like seeing her right now. He didn’t want to appear weak in front of her, and right now he looked pathetic. The tears had stopped, but he definitely still looked a mess. With dried tear streaks on his face, he sat in the dark corner hugging his knees.

The day had begun badly. It was turning out worse.


	2. Chapter 2

Phil had been abandoned by all his friends. 

Revision had been thrown out the window, when he decided he needed a peaceful night - playing on his nintendo for hours was a method of de-stressing - but his friends had other ideas. They had somehow managed to drag him to a party, with a lot of complaining on his behalf. A party with loud music, the stench of alcohol, and drunk students. He’d much rather be revising, which was really saying something. 

His friends had deserted him as soon as they set foot in the room. He was left to fend for himself in this nightmarish place. It had been hours since he arrived at the party, and he really needed to leave. The party was starting to die down as the drunk people stumbled outside. His friends, of course, were nowhere to be seen, so he decided to leave them behind. After all, his friends could at least try to be responsible adults. 

He was really intent on leaving as he realised he had wasted hours at the party instead of contentedly playing Mario Kart locked in his room. Distracted by his thoughts, he tripped over someone sat on the floor. Phil, being the ever graceful dancer, landed right on top of the stranger.

He mumbled some incoherent apologies as he tried to get off the stranger. Phil awkwardly stood up, trying to get away without embarrassing himself. He glanced at the stranger who looked unfazed. The boy on the ground was probably wasted so, Phil decided not to pay attention. When he was about to leave, the boy gazed up at him. 

The boy looked broken; his eyes reflected despair and pain. A glazed look in those eyes, glistening with tears. These beautiful, broken brown eyes prevented him from leaving. He felt this incomprehensible desire to stay with him. He wanted to erase all the pain the boy had suffered. 

Dan stared into Phil’s eyes for a long time; there was something comforting about his gaze. Their eye contact ended when Phil took a step closer to Dan. Dan tried to hide behind his hands because he realised he still looked a mess and the beautiful stranger should not be able to see him in this state. His ugly red eyes were threatening to overflow with tears. He turned away.

Phil noticed that the boy was trying to avoid eye contact but he came forward and gently placed a hand on Dan’s knee. At the moment of contact, a warm sensation spread through Phil’s hand. The boy relaxed slightly when they touched. Phil realised that the touch was healing him. 

Phil appreciated his powers because he could heal people. Throughout his life, he had healed many people. Phil had always been a beam of happiness and support. He could identify when someone was struggling and make it better. 

He couldn’t fix all their problems, but he could make them better and that made him happy. Phil wasn’t a healer of physical wounds; he healed pain in the mind. This was a unique ability because most people weren’t emotional healers. He always wanted to help people, and now he wanted to help the broken boy at the party. 

Dan timidly looked back at the stranger with an unreadable expression. His face looked vacant but there were a lot of emotions coursing through Dan’s brain. Most of them were negative and painful.

An unfamiliar emotion intruded his brain when the boy touched his knee. Unintentionally, he found himself leaning into the touch. The touch felt like safety and happiness. However, he abruptly scrambled away from the older boy because he was frightened of becoming attached. 

This was how Dan reacted to everything; pushing it and running away. It was the first time he had shared happiness by touch. He should have been thrilled; instead, he was running away. He curled up into a tighter ball, to hide from the stranger. The comforting hand was removed making him feel empty again. 

Phil withdrew his hand because the boy seemed uncomfortable. The boy tried to make himself small to hide. He wanted to put his arms around the boy and protect him from whatever was causing him pain. He longed to wrap his arms around him but decided to act against that wish for the time being because he was a stranger to the boy. Phil stayed by his side in silence for a while, just observing him. They were just sat in comfortable silence. Dan sneaked glances at Phil but quickly looked away when they made eye contact. Why was the boy still here? The silence stretched out, neither of them noticed the noise in the background. 

Phil eventually broke the silence after realising he had been creepily staring at the boy for a long time. 

“Do you need any help getting back to your room?” Phil asked. 

Dan was slowly slipping out of consciousness so he barely registered what had been said. He just gave a slight shrug and mumbled, “sure.” 

He felt arms wrap around his body and being gently placed on his feet. He melted into the touch, feeling warmth spread through his body. The stranger guided him outside the party. 

He lously pointed towards the direction of his room where the older boy led him. The comfort of the bed awaited him, but he felt more comfortable being held by this boy. He climbed onto the bed with the help of the boy stopping him crashing on the floor. Once he was on the bed, the touch had disappeared. Emptiness returned without the warmth of the touch, but a feeling of happiness lingered. He wanted to be held in those arms again but he couldn’t have that. He wanted to say “stay” but he kept silent. The older boy walked away from him. The door was left unlocked behind him. 

Unwillingly, Phil walked away from him. He turned back and glanced at the sleeping boy. The expression on his face looked peaceful and content. He would have liked to stay beside the boy for longer but he couldn’t do that. 

Phil whispered “good night” to the silent room. Using his healing powers had exhausted him; although, it had been worth it. Fortunately, he didn’t have to walk far to get to his room since it was in the same building. He trudged his way up a long flight of stairs, finally entering into his room. Immediately after locking the door, he crashed onto his bed without changing into clothes to sleep in. Thoughts of the boy invaded his dreams. He couldn’t stop thinking about him. ‘What was so special about that boy?’

“Stay,” Dan whispered to the empty room. Very soon, he was engulfed by a blanket of black as sleep swept him away. His mind replayed the events of the day in his sleep. 

This day hadn’t been the worst. There could be more days filled with warmth and happiness. He hoped to meet the stranger again.


	3. Chapter 3

Dan woke up with sunlight creeping past the open curtains. Pain throbbed violently around his skull. He thought the headache could crack open his skull. He dragged his body out of the bed to fetch some aspirin. He closed the curtains to block the sunlight because he knew his brain would start hurting more due to the brightness. 

Crawling back into bed, he waited for the medicine to do its work. After a while of tossing and turning without falling back asleep, he got up. 

Yesterday’s events plagued his mind. His mind forced him onto a carousel of thoughts that didn’t stop spinning. Now that alcohol wasn’t affecting his thoughts, he finally comprehended that his girlfriend had cheated on him. He should have been angry at her but he held himself to blame. After all, he was the worst boyfriend.  
Those were all the bad things that happened yesterday but then, there was a stranger. 

That boy who had made him feel almost happy. That boy who didn’t make him feel pain. 

He remembered the touch. At that moment, he had felt something other than pain. The throbbing headache interrupted his thoughts preventing him from understanding anything. Getting answers probably required him to confront his girlfriend and meet the stranger again. (Meeting the boy preferably under different circumstances.) That meant he would have to stop hiding and running away. 

He flopped onto his bed. He would need a lot of energy to stop doing that.

Phil was not a morning person but this time he woke up with a smile on his face. He was smiling because of the brown eyed boy. He hadn’t stopped thinking about him since last night. Though that definitely hadn’t helped his overactive brain to fall asleep.

He was still in tight jeans which were digging into his flesh. To make things worse, he had fallen asleep with contacts in his eyes which really hurt. He went to the bathroom to remove his contacts and managed to poke himself -harshly- in the eye. When his eye-sight returned, he noticed that eyes were red but they seemed to be shining. They were gleaming because of someone he had met once in his life. 

It was probably stupid to get attached so soon. He chuckled at that thought because he had already become attached. He wanted to meet that boy again. Distracted by his thoughts, he realised that he had completely forgotten about the lecture he was supposed to attend. He was hopeless: he had been daydreaming for half an hour. 

He had nowhere to be at the moment. It was the perfect opportunity to find the boy. Before leaving his room, he had to look presentable. He changed into a checkered red button up shirt and discarded the jeans he had slept in for another pair of black skinny jeans, the only type of jeans he owned. Once he had left his room, he realised that he had no clue where he could find the boy. Yet he was still determined to find him. He ended up wandering the corridors looking like a lost puppy. 

Lying in bed, deep in thought, Dan didn’t realise the door had opened and someone had entered. They stood at the entrance. He raised his head in acknowledgement but dropped his head down in defeat upon seeing the person. He couldn’t deal with this right now. 

Emily approached his bed and sat down at the edge. At least that meant he wasn’t the only uncomfortable one. She opened her mouth but no words came out. They just sat in silence trying to figure out what to say to each other. 

He should have seen this coming. Lately, their relationship had been filled with awkward silences. He looked into her eyes which silently apologised but it was too late. It didn’t mean anything now but he also felt guilty. He was sorry because he had been the one distancing them. Reaching out, he brushed his hand against hers to share her feelings. He gave a shaky smile as he seeped in some pain from her. She drew her hand away and stood up. She walked out of his life. 

Phil walked further down the corridor, nearly bumping into a girl who swiftly walked past him. He peeked into the room she had come out of. Sitting on the bed curled up was the boy he had met yesterday. 

The younger boy also seemed to be trembling. His heart literally shattered seeing the boy look so broken. He realised it would be quite intrusive to just walk into the stranger’s room but he really just wanted to help this boy. So, he entered the room and walked towards him.

Dan heard footsteps approaching his bed. He curled up tighter, anticipating the disappointed comments from his girlfriend. When nobody spoke up he raised his head, his eyes met another pair. The black of his pupil was surrounded by a light sapphire blue. 

Wait - he remembered seeing those eyes before. His glazed eyes came into focus again. Seriously. He had hoped to see the stranger again but not like this. 

They were back in the same situation as they had first met. Dan was a stupid mess and this stranger had just randomly appeared up like his knight in shining armour. 

He tried to wipe his tears but they kept spilling. 

The boy in front of him looked absolutely broken. Phil just wanted to wrap him a warm blanket, shower him with comforting hugs, and give him all the happiness in the world. He went closer to the boy and enveloped him in a hug to heal some of his pain. 

Dan felt arms being wrapped him, not too tightly but they still had a secure grip around him. He felt safe in those arms. A pleasant warmth spread through his body, replacing some of his pain with happiness. Pulling the other boy closer, he melted into the hug. He was almost sat in the stranger’s lap but at that moment he didn’t have it in himself to care. His hands became loose fists which clutched onto the boy’s shirt. 

“Just be aware, I’m not letting go unless you do,” he mumbled. 

The other boy just laughed. It was a genuine laugh. The sweet, joyful sound made the corners of his mouth turn up. He found himself smiling slightly. 

“Neither am I so, I guess we’re going to be stuck like this,” the boy said, “and my name’s Phil, that seems like something you should know if we’re going to be hugging for a while.” 

He completely relaxed, releasing the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. He was happy that he wasn’t going to lose this comfort. 

“My name’s Dan,” he disclosed 

They stayed just clutching onto each other. The rest of the world was forgotten as they melted into the embrace.


	4. Chapter 4

They must have fallen asleep at some point while hugging because Phil woke up in a room that he recognised definitely wasn’t his. He blinked his eyes, closed them, and opened them again trying to remove the drowsiness from his mind. His mind never made sense in the mornings. 

The curtains had been pulled shut engulfing the room in darkness. He groped for his glasses which he guessed had been discarded whilst they cuddled. When he wore them, his eyes managed to focus on the glaring light from his phone to check the time. It showed that it was one in the afternoon. It was quite late even for him. He realised that he still hadn’t had coffee, which was unbelievable. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts as something stirred next to him. Then he realised that he still had his arms around the smaller boy’s body. He saw that Dan had his head buried under his arms and laid on Phil’s chest. Lying on the bed for a little longer, he inhaled the boy’s scent, which smelled like sandalwood and a slightly caramelised aroma. With a sigh, he reluctantly untangled himself from the other’s clutches, being careful as to not disturb the sleeping boy. Dan stirred again and released a small whimper. ‘Seriously how can someone be so cute?’ Phil thought. Dan, who looked so peaceful in his sleep with his cute curly hair tousled by sleeping. 

A blush tinted his cheeks. Phil shook his head and slipped out of bed.

He made his way to the shared kitchen to make some coffee for himself and serve Dan some in bed. Thankfully, he didn’t encounter any of Dan’s roommates as he wasn’t in the mood for social interaction - not that he ever was. He quickly made the coffee, wanting to give to it to Dan before he got out of bed. He walked back to Dan’s room and cautiously placed the coffee mugs on the bed side table. The coffee was still burning hot so he couldn’t drink it. 

He awkwardly sat at the edge of the bed waiting for Dan to wake up. It was probably creepy to stare at the boy as he slept so he tried to busy himself on his phone. He felt like he had he overstayed his welcome. ‘Should I leave?’ he thought. Then, Dan poked his head out from under the blanket showing that he was waking up. Phil reached for his coffee and began to sip it. 

Emotions are like drugs. Sometimes you consume the drug which has side effects such as crying. Some days you might have too much of the drug, filling you with overwhelming emotions. Other times, you’re sober causing you feel empty and numb. 

Dan woke up knowing it was one of those days. On days like these he knew that he would embark on a turbulent ride. The ride of emotions. He was completely caught up in his mind and everything around him was distant. 

The smell of coffee wafted to his nose. He didn’t recall making it. Was he still dreaming? He rubbed his eyes to remove the sleep and turned his head. Someone was sitting next to him in his bed. ‘Oh yeah.’ 

The memories of Phil hugging him came back. It should have been weird to have someone he had only known for a day in his bed, but there was something comfortable about it. Despite feeling hopeless and empty, Phil’s presence somehow made it a little bit better. 

However, there was an invisible barrier between them because Dan didn't feel like he was present at that moment; he felt detached. Spilling his emotions in the past few days had left him numb. 

‘Great, now Phil has to endure me during my depressive episode,’ he thought. He wanted to lay on the bed face down like a lifeless form for the whole day. His body seemed too heavy, each moment draining his energy. 

He tried to give him a small smile but it probably looked more like a grimace. He managed to mask it with a yawn. He didn’t have any energy to utter words so he just reached for his coffee and drank in silence. Phil didn’t seem to mind the silence as he also continued to sip without starting a conversation. Emily would have talked non-stop to fill in the silence but eventually get annoyed and leave when she didn’t get any response from him. Then for the rest of the day he would feel worse for making her leaving. He expected Phil to leave soon but it didn’t seem like the boy was planning to. 

The cup was shaking in his hands. In spite of being wrapped in a warm blanket, he felt really cold. He inchined a bit closer to him to absorb some of his body heat. Phil must have noticed him shivering as he pulled him even closer and put his arms around him. Instantly, the warmth returned. 

The warmth filled the emptiness in his body. He felt waves of emotions dance around in his mind. Those waves turned into a cascading waterfall from his eyes. The unfamiliar feeling of happiness was back, and this time he experienced it stronger than before. He realised that Phil was erasing some of his pain. He didn’t say anything and let Dan cry his heart out. The unfinished cup of coffee was taken out of his hand and placed back onto the bedside table. 

After a while the salty tears became tears of happiness. Phil’s shirt was soaked where Dan had been crying. He raised his head and gave him a small smile with his dimples showing. 

Phil looked back at him and grinned wide, his eyes crinkling with fondness and his tongue poking out. ‘God this boy’s cute. How did this beautiful boy unexpectedly stumble into my life?’ he thought. 

They sat in comfortable silence while Dan’s thoughts raced in his mind. He found it calming to be sat with Phil. There was something about Phil that made his life a bit brighter.

He was the light and the colour in Dan’s monochrome world. 


	5. Chapter 5

He wanted to stay for longer this time. Hugging each other had just become a thing between them, and he wasn’t planning to change that because it seemed like Dan needed some physical contact - plus it was really endearing, the way he clung onto him like a koala. 

He liked holding the boy because he could see that his powers were having an effect on him. It’s always nice to do something for someone else. In the end, it was really worth it to see that radiant smile.

It was the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen and he wants to be the reason for more of those. The beauty of his smile is that it makes his eyes light up and they crinkle around the corners. The dimples just make him even more perfect. He’s the embodiment of perfection. If voiced that to Dan he’d simply scoff and try to argue back. But that’s the way Phil sees him. 

He wished that Dan could see himself through his eyes. He would be able to see himself as incredible and perfect. He doesn’t deserve all that pain. He deserves to be loved.

Maybe he didn’t receive a lot of affection throughout his life but Phil wanted to change that. When he first saw him he wanted to erase all his pain. Now that he has the chance, he wants to replace it with happiness. This boy meant the world to him. 

He had finally released his grip on Phil’s shirt and slumped against the wall. He was exhausted but he didn’t want to just waste his day - like he usually would - since he finally had some time with Phil. Actually, he felt a bit embarrassed that he had seen him in this state twice in the span of just two days but at least it couldn’t get worse than this. Could it? 

Phil somehow still seemed comfortable even while wearing a shirt that was wet because it was splotched with tears. He’d have to give him something else to wear. He unravelled the blanket that was wrapped around him and walked to the bathroom. 

His reflection showed how disheveled he was. His hair was a mess of untamed curls, falling on his eyes. His eyes and his whole face was red because of crying. Splashing water on his face, he washed away the dried tears. He placed a cold tissue over his eyes to remove some of the redness, so he would look more presentable. All his energy had been spent so he couldn’t be asked to sort out his hair now. It could be left a mess for another day. 

He went outside to grab some fresher clothes from his wardrobe. Dan’s selection of clothes was just black. There was literally no colour - except the potato sack jumper, but that could hardly count as a piece of clothing - just like his life. The clothes Phil was currently wearing were such a contrast to Dan’s. Nothing in his wardrobe really seemed like Phil’s choice but at least his clothes would fit him as they seemed to be almost the same size. He grabbed an oversized ‘my soul’ hoodie and grey bottoms which were one of his most casual clothes - for himself and a black shirt with a small smiley face for Phil. 

“Hey Phil, would you like to change into this?” he asked.

“Yeah sure, thanks,” he replied. 

Dan tossed the shirt to him and it landed on his lap. He expected Phil to get up and change in the bathroom. What he hadn’t been expecting was for Phil to remove his shirt right there. He pulled the shirt over his head and Dan became frozen to the spot. 

Oh shit, Phil was hot. His bare chest was pale and smooth but it also had a trail of hair starting from his chest and ending somewhere below… 

Oh god, he’d been staring. He quickly diverted his gaze. By the time he looked back, Phil had worn the black t-shirt. Yet he still couldn’t stop staring because Dan’s shirt really suited him. 

‘This sounds so cringy but it really brought out his eyes,’ he thought. Even better - or worse if it was going to make him stare for longer - that the shirt was a bit tight on him showing how broad he was. Well, now he was undoubtedly blushing as he felt his face heating up as well. 

The older boy could probably see how flustered it had made him as he had this small smirk on his face but his eyes were twinkling like a child’s after they had been mischievous. Seriously, only Phil could pull off being hot and cute at the same time. 

Dramatically, he turned around and walked into the bathroom again to change in private. He discarded his tight top for the loose hoodie and kicked off his jeans. How had he survived those skinny jeans for so long? He pulled on the grey bottoms that were so much more comfortable. 

When he walked back outside Phil appeared to be engrossed in his phone. Then he noticed the coffee mugs lying unfinished. Their coffees had been neglected on the bedside table for a while so it must be cold by now. He warmed their drinks and handed one to Phil. 

Phil held the mug with both hands around the cup instead of using the handle which looked oddly cute. He fondly shook his head. He sat down on the bed next to him with barely any distance between them. 

Phil looked like he couldn’t hurt a fly so he couldn’t break his heart, right? Would it be worth it to give his heart away again? 

Phil still had the ghost of a smile on his face. He didn’t seem unhappy to be with him despite his breakdown earlier. Perhaps, Dan wouldn’t be hurt this time. Maybe this would be worth everything. He took a deep breath and decided to stop running away. He’d take this step by step. Afterall, he was happier because of Phil. 

He gathered his courage and inched his hand closer to Phil’s hand.


	6. Chapter 6

They were sitting really close together and Phil was enjoying the closeness. 

While he was sipping his coffee, Dan reached his hand out to him. He interlaced his fingers through Dan’s, liking how they fit together perfectly. He squeezed back to tell him without words that it was fine. It was more than fine. They fit together like a jigsaw every time they touched, like when they were cuddling. Dan completed him. 

The touch filled him with happiness. His heart swelled with happiness because of this boy. He felt warm all over in a pleasant way. He always did something for everyone but he had never gotten anything back. With Dan it was different because he shared his happiness with Phil. He never wanted to leave. 

Now it was Phil’s turn to stare. Dan was looking down with a small smile, his cute curls covering some of his face. The oversized hoodie he was wearing made him look small and soft. When he had gotten him flustered, his whole face had flushed red which also made him look cute. Okay maybe he had to admit that everything about this boy was cute. Not only did he look cute, but he seemed more alive than he had seen him the past few days. His eyes had life in them since he had stopped crying. He looked happier. 

Dan looked up with an extremely fond smile on his face. Those brown curls really suited his chocolate eyes. His dimples had made a reappearance when Phil held his hand. He gently placed their entwined hands in his lap. He traced small circles on the back of his hand to relax him. His pale skin tone was a slight contrast form Dan’s more golden one. 

He shifted so he was sitting in front of him and directly facing him. The vulnerability in his eyes was visible. He could see every flicker of emotion on his face. He could count all those faint little freckles. He could admire the crater in his cheek. ‘How had he gotten so lucky to be with this boy?’ he thought. 

The expression on Phil’s face was pure affection. He was looking at him like he was everything. It was a bit overwhelming. He didn’t mean to compare this amazing boy to his ex, but the breakup was still there in the back of his mind. Emily had never looked at him the way Phil was looking at him. It was better with Phil, but it was scary.

Looking at Phil when he was so close to him was quite intimate. He could clearly see the colours in his eyes. The blue, green, and yellow all shining with brightness equivalent to the light from the sun. He could see the curve of lips shaped like a cupid’s bow. His gaze flickered back to his eyes because they gave him comfort. He could close the distance between them right now and capture Phil’s lips with his. He could just go for it, no holding back. 

He took Phil’s hand with his other hand and tightened the grip. He looked at him asking for permission. Phil also looked nervous but his eyes were beacons of comfort for him. It was obvious that they were both slightly scared. 

He slowly leaned forward and pressed his lips to Phil’s. The rest of the world slipped away as their lips were touching timidly. The kiss was soft but sure. He snaked his arms around his waist to hold him closer while Phil weaved his fingers through his hair, tugging softly on the curls. The other hand was placed at the back of his neck to keep them connected. A tingling sensation spread warmth through his body, filling him with an emotion he was becoming familiar with after being around Phil. It was as if those lips kissed better all his pain. There was silence apart from the sound of the kiss. 

He pulled apart, breathless. He didn’t move further, instead he stayed with their foreheads touching. Their arms were still around each other. In that moment, it was just him and Phil. When he was with Phil, he was laid bare: his emotions and all his pain. He had never been this open with anyone but he knew he could trust Phil. They were right for each other. Of course they would make each other happy without their powers, but they could use them to help each other. Phil would help Dan heal and he can share some of his happiness with him. 

Phil was the first to break the silence. It was a comfortable silence, but it was nice to have some words exchanged. 

“Dan just know that I would never hurt you, you mean everything to me and I’m so happy to be here with you, I want you to be happy too.” He assured. 

This incredible person meant the world to him too. He opened his mouth and spilled out his feelings for Phil. 

“You make me the happiest person on earth even though most of my life has been filled with sadness and pain,” he hadn’t finished yet. “My whole life I’ve run away from people, never getting close enough but your presence is like a light in my life and just being here with you makes me feel comfortable.” He continued. “I’m not running away this time because I really like you ,Phil.”

The arms around his waist pulled him into Phil’s lap. He rested his face at the crook of his neck and relished the sweet smell.

“You don’t deserve the pain,” Phil murmured. After a pause, he said as he teared up, “God we’re both an emotional mess.” 

He laughed. “I’m more of a mess.” 

“Nope, you haven’t seen me during my breakdown.” he replied.

“And I’ll be there for you when you breakdown as you were there for me.” He said softly. 

“I really like you too Dan.” Phil professed. 

For the first time since he was a tiny child he actually felt safe. Being held by Phil was one of the happiest moments of his life. He felt happy.


	7. Chapter 7

Traces of pain had vanished as Dan lay in his arms. The expression on his face was so peaceful. He wanted to keep the boy like this his whole life. He didn’t want to disturb the peace but there was something he wanted to know about the boy. 

All his thoughts came back to the same conclusion. Dan looked happier. He had been there to help him places those broken pieces together. However, he wanted to know more about the broken boy whom he had first met, because it was also a piece of his life. 

“Dan if you don’t mind me asking, what caused you all that pain? You don’t have to answer that question.” 

He stiffened a little next to him. 

“Hey, hey you don’t have to tell me, it’s alright.” he comforted him. He never wanted Dan to feel like he was obliged to do something. It was his choice. 

At first his flight instincts kicked in. He wanted to run away as usual because he hadn’t even shared much about himself in his previous relationship; although, they had been together for longer, but then he remembered that it was Phil. A part of him was still scared and it probably wouldn’t leave soon, but the other part had already placed his heart in Phil’s hands. 

He slowly sat up, making sure to keep holding his hand, and patted the spot besides him. He twiddled with the bottom of his jumper while he settled down next to him. Phil took his fidgety hand away as well, immediately identifying his nervousness - something that Emily had never really realised. The older waited patiently for him to speak, not urging him or forcing him. There were so many differences between these two relationships and most of those, he realised, showed that Phil treated him better. 

Or perhaps it’s how he was meant to be treated all along but ever since he was a child he had never gotten that. 

That’s where part of his story comes in. 

“Since I was a small child, I would always try to understand people. Makes sense as I have empathetic perception which allows me to share people’s happiness and pain from a simple touch,” he started. 

At that, Phil exhaled sharply but didn’t say anything. 

He carried on, “My family wasn’t the happiest either, my parents would constantly be fighting which usually ended up with my mum being hurt. Throughout the years I tried to take away some of her pain but it gave me some pain in return.” 

Phil stopped him for a moment by pecking him on the lips. He squeezed his hands to show his support. 

“You know that you’re the best person, right?” he said. 

There was no room for argument so, he just agreed. He hadn’t heard things like that when he was younger which made it harder to believe. Though the first step in order to self heal, would be to believe in himself. Phil would probably always be there to help him but he wanted to be there for himself too. 

He kissed and squeezed back before continuing. 

“Once I realised I could kinda make people feel better by using my powers, I started doing it to other people but apparently kids aren't keen on being understood, cos they beat me up for being nice. Gradually, my confidence and self-esteem depleted at that point and I stopped getting close to people so I wouldn’t get any more pain. I distanced myself from everyone.” He confided. 

This was a part of him he hadn’t told anyone. He avoided Phil’s gaze so he wouldn’t see the pity written on the other’s face, but Phil placed a hand under his chin and tilted it so he faced him. Phil’s reaction was important to him. There were no traces of pity on his face instead, there was something else entirely. Pride. 

“You don’t deserve any of the pain you received. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially not someone as perfect as you. You’re extremely brave to have helped people by inflicting that pain on yourself.” Phil said. 

“I’m not going to hide or run away anymore cos I know you won’t hurt me. For a while I’ve been trying to become better by getting some serotonin in my body but that hadn’t made me truly happy.” 

He looked straight at him, expressing his feelings, “Phil you make me happier.” 

“Dan, you make me happier too.” 

“As you’ve probably realised, my powers are healing. More specifically it’s emotional healing. So, I can probably make your bad days a bit better by healing though, I would always be there when you need me.” 

“I’ve always been able to help people much like you. However, unlike you I received nothing in return and it’s better than getting what you got. But no one has ever done anything for me. Well until you came along.” Phil admitted. 

“You might think that I’m the one helping you and you do nothing in return. Oh I know that what you’re thinking cos that’s how your little brain works, isn’t it?” 

Phil rapped his knuckles against his skull in a strangely adorable way which made him laugh. He shook his head and playfully pushed him back by his forehead. 

“Your touch gives me happiness. I guess empathetic perception allows you to share some of your happiness with me.”

“I never thought it worked that way as well. Wait does that mean I share my pain with people?” he questioned. His mind processed this information. “NO! I could hurt you by giving you my pain.” 

“Dan, Dan, did you not hear what I said, you give me happiness. That is so much stronger than any amount of pain. Listen, I don’t want you to leave, please.” 

“I don’t want to leave either.” he murmured. It was barely audible but Phil seemed to have heard it. 

The older boy had the biggest smile on his face. He found himself smiling back just as wide. Once again they were a tangle of gangly limbs on the small bed. There was not a single atom of space between them as they snuggled. 

“You’re my pain relief.”


	8. Chapter 8

“You’re my pain relief.” Dan said. 

Something about that phrase, leaving out the part that it was coming from a stunning guy, made his stomach churn. Dan meant a lot to him and this really showed how much he meant to Dan. Everything the younger boy had disclosed was extremely personal. He had put all his trust in him and he would never, throughout his whole existence, break that trust. 

Sleep swallowed them. A black veil was pulled over his thoughts. While falling asleep, he realised he was falling for Dan. He could dwell upon this when his thoughts were more coherent. 

Pressed against Dan, who was lying on his chest, was the way he wanted to wake up for the rest of their lives. A blanket wrapped over them and their arms were wrapped around each other. They had bad breath and bed head but nothing mattered. The rest of the day lay ahead with nothing to do. They could spend the day being with each as they had nowhere else to be. It would be a lazy day. The stress, revision and homework could be left for another day - probably the day before the deadline. 

A movie that both of them had probably watched a thousand times was playing but neither of them were paying attention as they were engrossed in each other. Throughout the movie Phil was sneaking kisses and then deepening it, completely distracting Dan from even trying to watch the movie. Not that he seemed to mind. Dan seemed more than happy to kiss him the whole day without stopping. They ended up making out, with Phil on top of the smaller boy. 

The movie had almost finished while they smothered the other with kisses. They only realised that when he looked up to see the credits rolling. 

“Well the movie’s over, what do you want to do?” he asked, hinting that they make out. 

Dan placed his finger over his lips. He tilted his head giving a confused look. 

“No more kissing, my lips are tired.” he complained. “And stop pouting at me and giving me those irresistible puppy eyes.” There was a pause where Dan contemplated whether he would give in to his begging. “Ugh fine, one last kiss.”

He placed his hands on either side of his face and pulled him closer for the kiss. It was a sweet long lasting kiss but they had to pull apart for breath. He observed Dan’s lips just to admire how his bottom lip was plump and a dark pink. Those lips were chapped and still kissable. 

They closed the movie and started up Mario Kart. And of course they chose rainbow road. As they clicked on that racecourse, they shared a small smile. For another hour there was a lot of swearing and playful pushes. They took the opportunity to poke fun at each other. He found out that Dan was quite a sore loser, which gave him something to tease the boy. Although, he didn’t lose often, rather most of the time he came first while Phil struggled in the second to last place. Once they were satisfied with the intense gaming, they put it away and relaxed. Screaming profanities had worn them out, with a promise to have a rematch some other day so that Phil could beat him. 

He flopped onto Dan with exhaustion. The boy released a small, almost inaudible ‘oomphf’ sound because of the impact. 

“You’re a bit heavy Phil, mind getting off me?” Dan huffed. His face was beaming with a fond smile. There was no real annoyance behind those words. 

He chuckled and rolled them onto their sides, so they laid facing each other on the bed. The make out session had turned into little pecks. He randomly placed a kiss on Dan’s dimples which made the boy turn bright red and flash a bashful but radiant smile. Their hands were together underneath the blanket. He liked the feeling of those soft hands against his palm. Unknowingly, he began to trace small circles at the back of his hand. 

He captured all of Dan’s perfections such as his warm eyes and those pigtails falling into them that he kept brushing away. Everything about him was just perfect. 

“Hey,” he whispered. 

“Hey you,” Dan replied in the softest voice. 

They smiled at each other like two cheesy dorks. 

He felt a burst of affection for Dan. There was no way his feelings towards this boy could be simply described as ‘liking’. It was so much more. Being with Dan was like entering a house and realising he was home. Everytime they looked at each other, he felt on top of the moon. Whenever they kissed he felt light headed. Every touch filled him with warmth. Being in with him filled him with happiness. He wanted nothing more than to spend time with him. 

He was in love with Dan. 

Sometimes he wished he could read Phil’s mind. He could see that the other boy was engrossed in his thoughts. Unfortunately, his expressions didn’t reveal anything. 

Right now his own thoughts were calling and demanding for his attention. His mind was fixated on one word. The word danced around in his head under the spotlight, becoming the centre of attention. It’s all he could think about. 

Love. 

Could that be what he felt for Phil? He’d never felt such a deep connection to anyone before. He hadn’t realised what it felt like to be truly happy until he met Phil. It came easily to him to put all his trust in him even though that had scared him his whole life. The emptiness in his heart was filled with warmth. He felt complete. He didn’t feel lonely anymore. He had found his home in Phil. 

He loved Phil. 

He’d never felt this way towards anyone before. His feelings for Emily were never this strong. It was the first time he had fallen in love. 

People could say it’s too soon. That he doesn’t know Phil for long enough to decide whether he was in love but he believed that time didn’t matter. Phil made him feel happy and safe, something he was struggling with his whole life, in just a few days. He didn’t want to wait ages to be able to say what he already knew he felt. He didn’t want to miss any time when it came to Phil. He wanted to spend eternity with him. 

Phil meant the world to him.

“Phil I-” he hesitantly started. It would be a big step. He was trembling slightly. The fear of rejection began to settle in as he took too long to form his thoughts into words. 

He was disrupted from his train of thoughts, “I love you Dan.” 

The boy stared at him with his bright blue orbs which were radiating happiness and love. 

“I love you too.” 

He felt loved. 

Phil was the light in his life. 

Their lips connected in a sweet but passionate kiss. Happiness coursed through him like oxygen in his blood. Around Phil he felt like he was breathing happiness. He was trapped by all the pain in his life anymore. The pain was washed away, replaced with all the emotions only Phil made him feel. 

“I feel free from all the pain.” 

Phil pulled him into a tight embrace. He hugged back just as tightly, never wanting to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end!
> 
> Thanks for reading it, hope you've like it.
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this prompt. :)


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